Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Shoes and Women

This is an expensive looking shoe.  Wanted to go further with this but erased all the construction lines to see if it was worth posting.  It wasn't, but why let that stop me?  I'm on a mission to water down the quality of this blog one post at a time!

Anyway, shoes and women seem to go hand in hand, or should I say, foot to shoe, so after one month I'd like to share my thoughts about the online dating scene.

First, getting a potential mate to meet me in person is REALLY HARD.

Case in point:  I get an alert from okcupid.com telling me that an attractive woman living in Queens rated my photo Four out of Five stars.  She's within commuting distance.  Whoo hoo!  So right away I message her:

"Hi, want to chat?"

This is the standard greeting I send everyone.  I've learned to keep it short and simple(I skip the ones expecting War and Peace), no need to be creative, if she's interested she'll write back.  And she does!  Her, a day later:

"Sorry I missed you earlier!"

The response is pretty tame.  Well, my greeting was tame.  But once she writes back, GAME ON.  Me:

"We haven't even met yet, but I've missed you too! ;D

So have you met any other amazing guys online?(besides me, of course)"

So a little jokey, a little cocky, should get a stronger reaction.  She loosens up, gives me a smiley:

 "I thought we hadn't met yet...:)  What an odd question. Why do you ask?"

 Why?  I have no clue.  But she has a point, it IS an odd question.  But NOT ODD ENOUGH:

"Well I had considered asking 'If your boyfriend insisted on 2-ply instead of generic toilet paper, would that be a deal breaker?' or perhaps something less controversial, like 'Does your eye start twitching when you hear the words 'grill' and 'barbecue' used interchangeably?' but ultimately I decided to open with a question designed to sweep you off your feet.

I wonder if it worked.

Are you in love with me yet?"

I either strike gold with this, or she thinks I'm a flippant asshole.  Her response:

 "It didn't work, but I do think you're the funniest man on okcupid."

GOLD.  She likes my photo(a rather unflattering webcam shot), thinks I'm the funniest man on the site, and we've only exchanged a couple of texts!   It doesn't get much better than that, right?


Because the instant I suggest we meet, she drops off the face of the earth and I never hear from her again.

This isn't the first time this has happened to me.

You can have great text chemistry, but none of it matters unless there's chemistry in person.  And text chemistry is no indication of physical chemistry.  That's why I try to move things to the "lets meet in person" phase as soon as possible.  Separates the pretenders from the ones who are serious about meeting someone.

Which brings me to another observation: Online Dating is REALLY HARD.

Anyone try speed dating?  Might have to look into that.

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